Whetin be you Chop

Partly cloudy, 87 degrees, 63% humidity

"Whetin be you chop?" a pidgin English phrase roughly translating to "what have (or did) you eat?" is often used as a greeting in Nigeria.  While I can appreciate the fact that food is so central to most Nigerian's lives, it's a common topic of conversation (believe me, food is probably THE most common topic discussed in the Conley house), I find it an interesting opening question.   While it might be strange to Westerners to discuss what we've eaten, it appropriately illustrates Nigerian's love for their food - notice I said THEIR food and not just any food.  Over the course of the almost 12 months I've been here, if I've learned one thing, it's that Nigerian's take 'feeding' very seriously.

I've been waiting to be inspired by a Nigerian dish to write this post about food.  To my disappointment, Nigerian food is not exactly inspiring.  So instead, I'm capitalizing on my excitement over one of my favorite (and very not Nigerian) snacks - almond butter (yes, almond butter!!)  and banana wrap, to encourage my writing.  For those that haven't experienced the greatness of a peanut or almond butter  wrap, I highly suggest trying it - simply slap some peanut butter on a wrap (tortilla), add sliced banana, raisins, honey, jelly, or whatever you can dream up (almost everything is good with peanut butter), and enjoy!  This delicacy is one I didn't think I would be enjoying here, but thanks to a care package from home, a local bakery, and a couple bags full of oh-so-valuable "North American" food given to us by the departing Canadian VSO Country Director, I am more than pleased to report I'm enjoying this "luxury" here in Nigeria.

I will admit I am a bit of a snob when it comes to food.  I fully believe that you are what you eat and have been known to be a bit obsessive when it comes to eating healthy.   This is one of the main reasons I'm not crazy about most Nigerian dishes.

While there are a few Nigerian dishes I like, or at least can stomach, I prefer my "funny, funny oyibo (white woman) food," fixed in-house.  I prefer cooking over eating out (even if my work life doesn't support it) no matter my location, but having the means to cook here is key to my survival - and health. 

 Nigerian dishes tend to be very starch-heavy, rarely have vegetables, and if they contain meat, contain weird animal parts (like liver, intestine, skin ) that I generally steer clear of.  While the content of the dishes is enough to keep me from eating it on a regular basis (for the sake of keeping regular), the taste is something else.  The Nigerian  seasoning gamut contains two flavors - pepe (hot chili pepper) and fish.  Yes, fish - typically dried and added to a dish whole to flavor and add protein.  These can be used alone, but are often combined for what you can imagine is a very interesting taste.   Pepe, as a staple of any Nigerian dish, cannot be avoided if eating out or even buying some Nigerian made products - including peanut butter.  You can imagine our disappointment when we found what we thought was pure peanut butter contained pepe.

Though it doesn't sound so appetizing, if it's the only thing available, you tend to get used to just about anything - including fish and pepe flavored meals.  I'm not saying I will be cooking or missing most of these dishes, but I'm now able to stomach dishes that I almost immediately spit out when I first tried them.

All this said, there are a few Nigerian dishes I do like, and may even miss - see last post - 27 Things I'll Miss About Nigeria - and I have certainly not gone hungry. 

 

 

Soup and swallow.  What I would call THE Nigerian dish.  Almost every Nigerian eats one form of this or another on a daily basis.  The swallow, which can be made of yam, semo (grain), corn, or other grains is used to scoop up the soup using your fingers. No utensils required.

 

Roasted Fish.  A whole fish you select live (cleverly termed "point 'n kill"), spiced, grilled, and shared. 

Moi-moi.  My favorite Nigerian dish.  A bean tamale, of sorts, steamed in a banana leaf.

27 Things I Will Miss About Nigeria

Partly cloudy, 91 degrees, 65% humidity

As I quickly draw close to the date in which I will leave the crazy place I've called home for the last 11 months, I decided it was appropriate to commemorate my 27 years of existence, the fact that this year I celebrated my Golden Birthday (turned 27 on the 27th), AND the fact that I have (now less than) 27 days before I leave with an account of 27 things I will miss about Nigeria.  In no particular order, they are as follows:

1.      The simplicity of the life I live here. No iPhone, inconsistent (sometimes non-existent) internet, power, and running water.  Need I say more?

2.       The ridiculously low cost of a cab.  Less than $1.50 for a 10 min cab ride.

3.       My friends at the Farmer's Market and other establishments I frequent who know what I want before I walk in.

4.       The lack of structure and policy.  Though I sometimes HATE this, there is something about it that makes one feel free.

5.      The look and/or response I get when I tell someone I'm a volunteer and how much I get "paid."

6.       Being lulled back to sleep at 4 am by the call to prayer.

7.       The ease in which you can get anything on the black market - currency, videos, fuel, drugs, you name it.

8.       Getting respect - from almost everyone, everywhere.  Though it's normally not for the right reasons (my skin color), I appreciate it.

9.       Shaking my butt to Naija (Nigerian) tunes in the club.

10.  Fresh papaya.

11.  Getting my hair touched, played with, and fixed regularly by colleagues and other admirers.

12. Traffic cop's performances.  If you've never seen a Nigerian traffic cop in action, check out the following video.  Entertaining.

13. Being serenaded by colleagues throughout the work day.

14. Not having to shave my legs to wear skirts/dresses to work.  Most Nigerian women don't shave at all.  Why should I?

15.  Informing Nigerians that I CANNOT do anything to help them get a U.S. visa.

16.  Travelling by public transport.  Imagine 9 adults, 2 babies, and some kind of livestock packed in to an AC-less van that seats 7 while listening to Celine Dion for hours upon end.

17.  Wearing leggings to work.

18.  Squatting over the toilet at work and in most public places because there is no toilet seat.  Very good workout.

19.  Corn on the cob and coconut.  Together, these two things make for a great lunch.

20.  The song-like call of "oyibo" (white woman/man) by village kids echoing through the bush as we ride through remote FCT villages on mountain bikes.

21. Turning heads.  No matter how good or bad I look, I always get attention.  Though most of the time I am irritated by this, I'm pretty sure I will return home, to a world where I am the norm, and be upset that I am not getting such attention.

22. Winning a negotiation.  Nothing feels better than coming out of a bargaining session, having talked someone down to the price I want.

23. Hand washing my clothes.  NOT.  This is probably the thing I will miss the least.

24.  The oh-so-honest daily comments (compliments and cut downs) from colleagues about my appearance, including, but not limited to, "Your face is oily," "Is that a zit?" "You look tired," "What did you eat this morning? Your belly is protruding," "I like your dress," "You're looking fresh," "Your hair looks nice like that," and my all time favorite, "Oh, you've added weight back there too. I thought it was only in your face."

25. Moi moi.  One of few Nigerian dishes that I like.  Sort of like a tamale, but with beans instead of corn.

26.  Warm weather.  Yes, I bitch about the heat and the fact that I am constantly sweating, but you really can't beat having summer weather (and a tan) year round.

27.  The people - colleagues, volunteers, friends - from all corners of the world.  What has truly made my experience.

Christmas in Cameroon. New Years (NOT) in Benin.

Partly cloudy, 101 degrees

Travel.  A hobby or interest of most foreigners living in places like Nigeria.  Also one of the top reasons I decided to pursue a volunteer placement.  The sense of adventure and the chance to not only see, but truly experience, a different culture is what drew me to the VSO opportunity.  Now I know you might be asking "But what drew you to Nigeria?  It's a far cry from a tourist destination!"  That, my friends, is a good question.  One I still haven't quite answered, myself, but my thought was that Abuja would make for an okay place from which to travel.

Before arriving, I had BIG travel plans.  How could I not take full advantage of the opportunity to explore a continent I had never yet stepped foot on?  Serengeti, Kilimanjaro, Victoria Falls, and a safari or two were all in the so-called plans.   None of these plans were concrete, of course, because I didn't know what the year would hold for me work-wise.  It was with this I'll plan trips as soon as I can get a handle on what work will be like attitude that I arrived in Nigeria.  Not long after my arrival, however, these dreams were flushed down the toilet. 

On day 2, our passports were taken from our possession and we were given the disappointing news that we would likely not see them again until either the end of our placement or we were granted a resident permit/multi-entry visa.  As a development agency, VSO doesn't pay bribes and to get anything done in the Nigerian immigration office, a bribe is often what is needed.  Because of this, most volunteers don't ever get a resident permit or multi-entry visa and are thus forced to succumb to the long and painful process of requesting single re-entry visas any time they want to leave (and re-enter) the country.  These re-entry visas not only take a couple months to process but can only be granted one at a time - meaning any travel outside of the country has to be planned at least a couple months in advance and spaced appropriately to allow for re-application in between.  It was with this dictated timeline, and much aggravation, that I planned my travel for the year.  A trip over the Christmas holiday, one in the Spring, and one at the end of my placement, in July, was what I decided on.

Choosing where to go over the Holidays was the hardest.  In addition to a slew of destinations on my ever-growing list of places I want to travel, home was a top contender, for obvious reasons.  Would I be able to enjoy the holidays away from home?  Would I break down on Christmas Day, realizing I was thousands of miles from my family?  These were questions I asked myself as I weighed my options. The opportunity however - having 2.5 weeks off work and being in Africa - won out. A trip to visit our neighbors - Cameroon and Benin was in order.

The plan was to spend 2 weeks in Cameroon with McKinley then hop over to Benin for the final week.  Because McKinley planned to travel Benin with her brother, the latter part of the trip I was going to do (notice the tense of the verb here) solo. In the couple months leading up to the trip, we spent countless hours researching, planning, and booking what we thought necessary to make the trip go smoothly.  Fortunately, or maybe unfortunately, not many things - transport, accommodation, etc - require reservations or forward-looking thinking and can be done on the spot in Africa.  A Benin tourist visa, as it turns out, is not one of these things.

Because the timeline for retrieving our passports from Nigerian immigration and obtaining a Cameroon visa was tight, I was delighted to read in Lonely Planet that tourist visas were available at the Benin border.  What I failed to realize, or even frankly think any more about after reading it, was that arriving by road (and crossing the border) is NOT the same as arriving by air.  Minutes after stepping foot off the plane in Cotonou, I was forced back on to the plane by French speaking immigration officers.  After an attempt to sweet talk them, which turned less and less sweet by the minute, I realized I was not making any progress.  The three others, all Cameroonian, who were in the same boat (did not have visas) were not getting anywhere and the white-girl card was not coming to the rescue.  It was a helpless cause.  After being physically pushed toward the exit, I complied and stormed my way back out to the runway, where the Cameroon-bound plane was waiting.  After a short trip back to Douala and 5 hours in the Cameroon immigration office, I was given a Cameroon transit visa (necessary because I was now illegally in their country after using my single entry tourist visa) and booked flights to get back to Abuja.  Never did I think I would be so excited to be returning to Nigeria, but coming back was a welcome thought after the previous 24 hours. 

Visa hiccup aside, I had a great trip!  Though I'm not ready to return to Benin anytime soon, I loved Cameroon and would go back in a heartbeat.   Additionally, I handled being away from home at Christmas much better than I imagined.  I can attribute that mainly to being in a warm climate and disconnected from most things I associate with the Holidays.  It's amazing how the weather impacts the Christmas spirit.

 

In Belo - my favorite spot in all of Cameroon!

 

 

Belo Falls.  The trek up the river, to the bottom, was FREEZING!

 

 

45 minute okada ride to sacred Lake Oku

 

Mt. Cameroon summit

 

 

Merry Christmas!  Christmas Day spent playing my made up Christmas-themed drinking game sea-side