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Coming from a work environment most would classify as
"Corporate America," I have a very different view on topics
appropriate to discuss in the workplace than most, make that ALL, of my
colleagues here in the wild, but wonderful, world of Nigerian NGOs. While I haven't yet found any topics that are
exclusively off limits, as it seems most information I would consider personal
can (and has) been made public, there are a number of topics I would have
steered clear of in any workplace conversation at home and some which I will
continue to steer clear of no matter how directly I'm asked. The big ones include:
Religion
As a culture
largely defined by religion, most Nigerians fall in one of two distinct camps -
Christian or Muslim. For those who have
done any research on Nigeria or heard news on the country, you're probably
aware of the conflict surrounding these two groups, as it's what most media
outlets tend to cover. Religion is not
only at the core of a number of conflicts within the country, it's a defining
characteristic for most Nigerians.
"Are you a Christian?" is something regularly asked as a
typical get-to-know-you question, similar to " Where are you from?" in
a typical introductory conversation in the States. Because of its significance, religion is
openly discussed and even practiced in the office, with a Christian church
service held, just like a weekly meeting, every Wednesday morning.
Age, weight,
and body shape
Because I'm still
young enough (or at least like to think I'm young enough), being asked my age
typically does not make me uncomfortable - at least if it's not being asked by
a client looking to give me a hard time about my age, experience level, and the
amount he/she is being charged for my consulting services. For most Americans, however, age is a number
not willingly provided, sometimes even amongst groups of friends.
A number I
am NOT comfortable discussing with my colleagues, however, is my weight. Because being thin is not necessarily seen as
a good thing or associated with being beautiful, weight and body shape are
openly discussed. It's common to hear,
as part of a greeting, "you've added weight," meaning (yes, you
guessed it) you've gained weight! While
some female colleagues admit they don't necessarily like hearing this, they are
not offended and typically respond with a reason - they've been tired (not
exercising) lately or cooking/eating more, taking it MUCH better than I would,
likely providing a response of "go climb a tree" (although likely not
that nice or censored) a glaring look, and possibly even a slap across the
face.
I've made it
clear to my colleagues I will not provide my weight, even when other colleagues
(females included) have willingly provided theirs. I have also asked they do not tell me if they
think I've "added weight" at any point during my placement. This
has to be the last thing I want to hear as I fight the constant battle to find
and consume healthy food in this culture where sugar and/or oil is added to
almost EVERYTHING.
Sex
Let me
preface this with a reminder that the non-profit organization I work for
focuses on sexual and reproductive health issues and is unique in respects to
the openness in which sex is discussed in the office, as this culturally taboo
topic is not widely thought of as an acceptable discussion topic. Nonetheless, sex - the act and everything
associated with it, including protection, sexually transmitted diseases,
pregnancy, abortion, common misperceptions/myths, and any/everything else - is
commonly discussed at work. In my book, it
doesn't get much more personal than this.
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